Grieving and moving forward

I went through all the normal stages of grief, but all in all I would say I handled it pretty well. The doctor gave us the go ahead to start trying again as soon as I had had one regular cycle, and I was counting the days.

Unfortunately, I bled for two months after I miscarried. I finally had enough, convinced my OB to see me again and sure enough I stopped bleeding the day of the appointment. An ultrasound showed that everything was back to normal, and he told me we could start trying on the next cycle.

I have witnessed Todd grieve a loss before, so I had an idea of what to expect from him. Todd deals with crisis like an old Oak Tree in a hurricane. When everyone else is being blown away by the chaos, he digs in his roots and stands strong, providing shelter and something solid for people to hang on to. When the storm is over however, he's lost few main branches, and as everyone else goes back to their routines, he goes into shock.

We had a burial. We buried the baby by our old oak tree in the back field, right near the horse pasture. I like to think that Constantine looks after him. That horse has a strong protective spirit.

Once my system had finally regulated itself, we were ready to try again. We didn't expect to get pregnant right away, and were prepared for the fact that most people have try for some time before it works. However we were very fortunate and conceived again on the first cycle.

And a new pregnancy was born.